Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Consumer Relations Stormtroopers

One of the top stories on Yahoo! at the end of Monday was that Snakes on a Plane had disappointing results in its opening weekend. Awwww.... It only grossed $15.3 million. It just eeked past "Talladega Nights," the Will Ferrell vehicle. Given that these two flicks are number 1 and 2, I'd bemoan the state of American cinema -- except it seems that people are staying away in droves. Perhaps there is hope after all...

On a totally unrelated note, I received the following e-mail from a good friend of mine who recently switched from having his website hosted on USA Domains to a far, far less expensive plan with 1 and 1 (about 10 percent of their previous annual costs). Ya gotta love these consumer-relations tactics -- guilt, patriotism, sarcasm, and homophone deficiency:

This is the e-mail that we spoke about last night. I'm afraid I was mistaken when I told you that I thought the guy was probably the person responsible for servicing the account and was upset about losing a commission or something. Upon reading it a second time tonight, I realized that this guy claims to be the "Founder and CEO" of the company (gee, do I feel privileged and honored that a person of such high stature would take the time to chastise and lecture me on my lack of common sense AND patriotism).

Anyway, as you read his letter you will have to once again ask the question "how do people get to such lofty positions without being able to at least use the English language correctly?" Check out his use of the word "to" when I think he meant "too", and also the use of the word "are" when I think he meant "our." Oh well, who am I to speak? I'm cheap!

And here's the infamous e-mail (in its entirety):

Well, you always had the option to downgrade your account but we have not heard from you over these concerns. We offer many hosting plans, starting at $8.95/month. To have taken a downgrade, would have only took a phone call.

I was told by customer service that you got a deal for $44 dollars a year, or $3.66 a month. Well, don't forget that you get what you pay for, and it's not feasible for any USA based hosting company to offer plans at that price and expect to stay in business very long unless they plan to use cheap hardware and very poor bandwidth coupled with overloading servers.

To often customers simply move their hosting with only looking at their pocketbook without *really* looking at the differences of hosting. We built this small business around *quality* but unfortunately Americans would rather take their business to
offshore companies like 1and1.com, who are a German based firm. No wonder our economy is in the shape it's in!

We have kept are prices as low as possible to keep our doors open, and to provide quality services. I'm sorry you don't understand the differences.

Our tech support department will unlock your domain ASAP We thank you for the business you gave us, and we did appreciate your business, but on the contrary, we are not expensive. We are a great value.

Kindest Regards,

Kevin Kwasnik
Founder & CEO
USA Domains, Inc

Back To The Mainland

Our time on the Big Island is over, and we fly home today. I leave here shortly after noon, but because of the 6 hour time difference, I won't get home until Wednesday morning. Then it's time to buckle down and finish the edit that I thought I'd get done here -- and didn't!