Sunday, April 17, 2011

White Eggs and Spam: The Tweeter's Lament

(With profuse apologies to Dr. Seuss)
Eggs hatch spam-bots. And dinosaurs.

I do not like white eggs and spam.
I do not like them, sir or ma'am.

I do not like them in HootSuite
TweetDeck, or Twitter.  Won't re-tweet
Them. Won't click on links.
I'm not an idiot. 
     (That's what you thinks,
Isn't it? Why else
Would you blast me with your URLs?)

From "Writers Wanted!" to Bieberfans and
#followback begging, I hates the spam!

I do not like white eggs and spam.
I block and report them as fast as I can.
I will not keep eggs in my feed.
They hatch spam-bots. I do not need,
Or want, or even tolerate
The time-line clutter spam-bots make.

It's true, not all spam comes from eggs.
If I see boobs or butts or legs
It's a fair bet spam is in the tweet --
Spam that licks a toilet seat.

I do not like white eggs and spam.
I do not like it, sir or ma'am.

I tweet to connect with other people:
Writers. Riders. Real live tweeple.
I like what they have to say -
Even if it's just what they ate today.
They make me laugh. They keep me #amwriting.
They're so interesting, I find myself fighting
To more productively manage my time
So I do not spend it all online.

That's why I don't like white eggs and spam.
They clutter up my feed and jam
It with unwanted ads.
I "block & report" & kick bots in the nads.
If I wanted spam ads everyplace I look,
I wouldn't be on Twitter.  I'd be on FaceBook.
The Winning Argument.

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