Between 1858 and 1861 or 1862, when Emily Dickinson was in her late twenties and early thirties, she wrote several intimate letters to someone known only as "the Master." Drafts of three of the letters survive. Though rich in imagery, poetic language, and emotional nuance, there is no way of knowing whether they were ever mailed. (Dickinson asked at least one person to burn all correspondence after her death...)
To this day, the Master's identity remains a mystery.
I didn't know any of this backstory when, in university, I was introduced to a poem of Dickinson's sometimes called "the Master." (She did not title it so.) I just knew that I liked it far more than her poems about death. It spoke to me then in a way that still resonates:
The Master
by Emily Dickinson
He fumbles at your Soul
As Players at the Keys,
Before they drop full Music on --
He stuns you by degrees --
Prepares your brittle substance
For the Ethereal Blow
By fainter Hammers -- further heard --
Then nearer -- then so - slow -
Your Breath has time to straighten,
Your Brain -- to bubble cool --
Deals one imperial Thunderbolt
That scalps your naked soul.
The poem was written in 1862 and appears in Fascicle 22. Thanks to the internet, one can view the handwritten original.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
April: Get Your Poetry On #PoemMo

Eighteen years ago, thanks to the Academy of American Poets, April was designated National Poetry Month. According to the Academy, National Poetry Month is now the largest literary celebration in the world.
I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I envision throngs of people surrounded by stacks of books, imbibing massive quantities of coffee and alcohol, waving their hands while they talk, passionately discussing a word, phrase, or concept that moved them. Of course there is music. And -- since this is *my* fantasy -- chocolate.
Poetry isn't something reserved for the literati. It's not removed from reality. On the contrary, it interprets the world around us in a way that mere prose and conversation cannot. Poetry powers our songs. It connects the dots between disparate things, linking them in ways we'd never previously considered so completely that we can never completely see them as separate them again.

What's your favorite poem? Is it a song lyric that speaks to you? What turn of phrase calls your name?
In honor of National Poetry Month, during the month of April, share with the world the poetry that moves you. Why not brighten other lives with something that enriches yours?
Friday, March 14, 2014
The Snap-On Man vs. Shameless Spam
Or: Why Advertising Trumps Spam
A few years ago, in a two-day Fencing Extravaganza, we put up a new fence around several acres of pasture. During construction, we had a little glitch. The main hydraulic hose blew in the Al-the-Fencing-Guy's skid loader (which he used to do everything from pound 8 inch posts directly into our concrete-like clay without pre-drilling holes to stretching the high-tension wire).
When I say the hose blew, I don't mean that it sprung a little leak. No -- it exploded in a frayed mass of steel reinforcements and sprayed hydraulic fluid everywhere.
Since Al's an Amish man, he doesn't drive -- so I took him for a nice tour of Coloma, Watervliet, and Hartford in search of a replacement 1 3/8" hydraulic hose with appropriate couplings. We found a place to get one made.
Then we went looking for a comparable-sized offset wrench to make installing the hose go faster and easier. It was a Wednesday, and we were told that Wednesday was the day for the Snap-On man to be in the area, but no one was sure where to find him.
As we were stopped at the light in Watervliet, what should we see but the Snap-On truck!
The truck had a phone number boldy emblazoned on it, so I followed it while Al called the number on his cell phone. He got hold of the driver (!) and explained what we needed. The guy very kindly pulled over and let us see if he had what we wanted. Presto: the guy made an easy sale just for driving his truck through an intersection -- and answering his phone.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend who is an absolutely TOP photographer. She's amazing. She has made quite a name for herself in our little area, but she could be so much bigger. Her eye for detail, and her ability to photograph people with genuine, beautiful, flattering expressions really set her apart. She would like more work. Yet she's reticent to advertise.
She is not alone.
So often, writers and others in creative fields are afraid to advertise. We don't want to "blow our own horn" or seem pushy or brash. But what we fail to take into consideration is that we offer a very real service that many people cannot (or don't want to) do for themselves.
In a sense, we owe it to our potential clientele to tell them our services are available, and to give them a way to contact us. Just like the Snap-On man.
Ah, but there's a catch...
See, contrary to popular opinion, advertising doesn't involve letting people know what you do or what you've done.
(I realize this statement flies directly in the face of many writers -- and plenty of publishers -- on Twitter and Facebook who are forever shilling about *their* books.
My feeds are craptastically clogged with writers posting links to their latest reviews, or their books' trailers, or random quotes from their books. Occasional self-promo is fine. It's even encouraged. However, if the only topic that ever shows up in your feed is YOUR BOOK, you're committing an unforgivable, egregious social boo-boo. This is not advertising. This is visual vomit. This is shameless self-promoting spam.)
Advertising, done correctly, is not telling others about yourself or your product. Rather, it tells people what you and your product can do for them.
Effective advertising engages the audience on some level.
It provides a service.
It gives people fodder for conversation, or makes them laugh, or solves a problem they're having (whether they know it or not).
Sometimes it even causes people to call you up in desperation and chase you down so they can buy what you're selling!
A few questions to ponder:
What advertising have you seen that you found most effective?
How do you respond to incessant social media spam?
How does your advertising encourage people to connect with your product?
A few years ago, in a two-day Fencing Extravaganza, we put up a new fence around several acres of pasture. During construction, we had a little glitch. The main hydraulic hose blew in the Al-the-Fencing-Guy's skid loader (which he used to do everything from pound 8 inch posts directly into our concrete-like clay without pre-drilling holes to stretching the high-tension wire).
When I say the hose blew, I don't mean that it sprung a little leak. No -- it exploded in a frayed mass of steel reinforcements and sprayed hydraulic fluid everywhere.
Since Al's an Amish man, he doesn't drive -- so I took him for a nice tour of Coloma, Watervliet, and Hartford in search of a replacement 1 3/8" hydraulic hose with appropriate couplings. We found a place to get one made.
Then we went looking for a comparable-sized offset wrench to make installing the hose go faster and easier. It was a Wednesday, and we were told that Wednesday was the day for the Snap-On man to be in the area, but no one was sure where to find him.
As we were stopped at the light in Watervliet, what should we see but the Snap-On truck!

The truck had a phone number boldy emblazoned on it, so I followed it while Al called the number on his cell phone. He got hold of the driver (!) and explained what we needed. The guy very kindly pulled over and let us see if he had what we wanted. Presto: the guy made an easy sale just for driving his truck through an intersection -- and answering his phone.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend who is an absolutely TOP photographer. She's amazing. She has made quite a name for herself in our little area, but she could be so much bigger. Her eye for detail, and her ability to photograph people with genuine, beautiful, flattering expressions really set her apart. She would like more work. Yet she's reticent to advertise.
She is not alone.
So often, writers and others in creative fields are afraid to advertise. We don't want to "blow our own horn" or seem pushy or brash. But what we fail to take into consideration is that we offer a very real service that many people cannot (or don't want to) do for themselves.
In a sense, we owe it to our potential clientele to tell them our services are available, and to give them a way to contact us. Just like the Snap-On man.
Ah, but there's a catch...
See, contrary to popular opinion, advertising doesn't involve letting people know what you do or what you've done.
(I realize this statement flies directly in the face of many writers -- and plenty of publishers -- on Twitter and Facebook who are forever shilling about *their* books.
My feeds are craptastically clogged with writers posting links to their latest reviews, or their books' trailers, or random quotes from their books. Occasional self-promo is fine. It's even encouraged. However, if the only topic that ever shows up in your feed is YOUR BOOK, you're committing an unforgivable, egregious social boo-boo. This is not advertising. This is visual vomit. This is shameless self-promoting spam.)
Advertising, done correctly, is not telling others about yourself or your product. Rather, it tells people what you and your product can do for them.
Effective advertising engages the audience on some level.
It provides a service.
It gives people fodder for conversation, or makes them laugh, or solves a problem they're having (whether they know it or not).
Sometimes it even causes people to call you up in desperation and chase you down so they can buy what you're selling!
A few questions to ponder:
What advertising have you seen that you found most effective?
How do you respond to incessant social media spam?
How does your advertising encourage people to connect with your product?
Monday, February 24, 2014
How To Stop Being Jealous
or: 5 Ways to Kill the Green-Eyed Monster Before it Kills You
I was consulting with a client poised on the brink of Making
It Big. We were brainstorming marketing strategy, deciding where to focus our
immediate efforts, and discussing how to balance book and television projects
with personal appearances.
“Get ready for it to get weird,” I warned him.
“It already has,” he said, uncharacteristically serious. “As
soon as I officially announced my Major Product had been optioned and was going
into national distribution, long-term friends unfriended me on FaceBook.”
Before I could launch into my trademark anti-Facebook rant,
he continued, “Then the phone started ringing with people calling me and my clients to rain down crap and
tell me how I’m going about this all wrong... Do you know how many phone calls
of congratulations I got?”
None.
I wish I could say I was surprised.
I’ve seen it happen before: people work, often for years,
with little to nothing to show for it. They amass a small, devoted army of
supporters who see the potential the world has yet to discover. Then fortune
finally smiles and blesses them with success on a larger scale—
![]() |
| The Pit of Despair: The Well of Jealous Souls |
And all hell breaks loose.
Oh, sure, some of the original followers applaud the achievement,
reasoning (rightly) that there are special places in the Inner Circle reserved
for Those Who Came First.
But often with larger scale success comes a whole cast of
new characters -- managers, producers, public relations people, coaches -- not
to mention new challenges and new responsibilities.
Launching any major project can be an all-consuming task,
much as having a baby completely occupies new parents’ every micro-neuron.
Those who aren’t actively involved in the launch (like those who have never
been parents) can feel left out, marginalized, or forgotten. For those looking
on from the sidelines – especially those who have been hoping for their own
success -- it’s a very short trip to the Pit of Despair for a heaping helping
of jealousy.
Jealousy has its roots in both selfishness and anger, two of
the most cancerous, toxic emotions known to humanity. It is also one of the
most ironic of emotions. Giving in to jealousy is like drinking poison and
expecting someone else to die. Jealousy kills relationships because it destroys
the person it originates with. It virtually eats you alive.
So, how can you kill the green-eyed monster before it ruins
you? Some suggestions:
1.) Practice Contentment.
I’m not talking about a forced, false happiness. Contentment is different. It’s
not giddy. It’s not out of control. It’s a quiet, calm joy that can be found in
any life at any time, if one looks for it.
Pet a dog. Eat something warm from the oven. Listen to your
favorite musician. Watch your favorite movie. Be grateful that you can see, or
hear, or smell, or taste. Do something you genuinely enjoy and savor the
experience. One of the best ways to avoid being jealous of someone else is to
do something that feeds your soul instead of sucking it dry.
2.) Avoid the
Death-Trap of Comparison. Comparing yourself never ends well. In the best case
scenarios, you come out on top, making you feel (and therefore act)
superior. Which usually results in general asshattery. Worst-case scenario –
you come out with the short end of the stick, which only beats the green-eyed
monster and irritates him.
Everyone is different. Everyone has different strengths and
weaknesses. Every character has a different arc. But everyone is the hero of
his or her own story. Your only job is to be the best version of you possible.
3.) Celebrate Success.
Make a concentrated effort to acknowledge the successes of others. Even if they
have succeeded at something that still eludes you. Especially if they have succeeded at something that still eludes
you.
4.) Resist the Urge to Scourge. Do you hate to read success stories? Does it just grind your tonenails into dust to read about successful debut novelists? Or spec script sales stories? Or "how I met my agent" or "how I met my husband" match-made-in-heaven stories?
Why?
There is no quota of successful people on the planet. Just because someone else has achieved a goal you've set for yourself doesn't mean you can't still make it.
We're all climbing the ladder of success. Beware of the temptation to mock those who are perched above you. Not only is karma real (how do you want people to react to you when you reach that rung?), but actively denigrating others does nothing to build you up. On the contrary, it saps your creative juices and punts you into the Back Alley Bully camp. Ick.
![]() |
| Never engage trolls... |
If you truly loathe others' success, then you are only sealing your own fate. Self-preservation refuses to allow us to become something we hate. Those who hate rich people will never be wealthy. If they were, they would have to hate themselves. In the same vein, those who begrudge another person's success are virtually guaranteeing they will never achieve anything comparable.
I had an interesting chat on Twitter this past week with a
screenwriter who has just released his first novel. His book enjoyed noteworthy
success, cracking the Top 100 of its genre on Amazon... incurring the
anger of the ‘Zon trolls.
Someone posted a hateful, spiteful, vitriol-infused
rant disguised as a “review” of his book. When the novelist responded (NOTE:
never engage the trolls. Any attempt at rational discourse only infuriates them.),
the troll brought out a gang-bang of his cronies -- each with the sole purpose of defecating on the writer's success. Fortunately, the novelist was too smart to take their poo flinging seriously. But that doesn't mean such crass behavior doesn't stink.
5.) Work. If All Else Fails -- Work Harder. An excellent antidote for allowing jealousy to overcome you is to immerse yourself in a pet project of your choosing.
Get to work. Focus on creating something that enriches your life and makes you proud. Hone your craft. Challenge yourself to grow even more adept at the skills you need. Not only will this help refocus your energies on something positive (thus starving the green-eyed monster), but it will also help set the stage for your own -- imminent -- sweeping success.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Bucking the Odds
Not because for the past two decades she has had steady work with the likes of Redford, Costner, Cruise, Witherspoon, Woo, Hopkins, Branagh, Whedon & other notables.
Not because she's a girl from the east who has carved a niche for herself as script supervisor for big studio films in L.A.
Not because she knows how to ride and has written a true-to-life film about horses.
Not even because in a few weeks, she'll be traveling cross country in a bus with the likes of Skeet Ulrich and Christian Kane. (OK, maybe a little bit because of that...)
The reason Faith Conroy is my hero is simple: she refused to buy into the ageism and sexism everyone says abounds in the film industry. Perhaps even more impressive, she didn't allow herself to be constrained by a career box. After years of supervising other people's screenplays, she co-wrote a script of her own AND helped to produce it as well.
She got involved, took the reins, and got the movie made.
No matter how you cook the film industry stats, they show dismal career opportunities for women. According to the Huffington Post, screenplays written by people without a Y chromosome accounted for less than 10% of spec script sales from 2010 to 2012.
But my heroes don't let the odds tell them what can't be done. They saddle up, get their cowboy on, and ride.
Conroy teamed up with Oscar-winning producer Jim Wilson to make the independent feature 50 to 1 -- the true story of Kentucky Derby underdog Mine That Bird. Now that the film is finished, she is personally involved in promoting it and helping it find an audience -- things that only further elevate her in my Halls of Heroes.
Which brings me to that cross country bus trip...The entire cast and crew of "50 to 1" have taken time out of their schedules and money out of their pockets to literally go on tour together. Starting in March, they're going to board a bus in New Mexico and make whistle stops across the country as they head toward Kentucky.
These days, it's easy to swallow the lie that the only way to "make it" is to sell a piece of yourself. But Conroy, Wilson, Kane, Ulrich & the rest of the tour are trying out a new paradigm. They're going to break through by giving of themselves.
They don't have a big studio backing their promotional efforts. Ten Furlongs LLC, the production company & distributor, exists solely because of this film. They don't care that the odds are stacked against them. They're going to do it anyway.
My heroes.
Sunday, January 05, 2014
Going to the Dogs: Meet My Muses
Today, my blog is going to the dogs.
In a wild departure from the norm, I'm not going to talk about writing at all. I'm going to yammer on about the dogs that make my life worthwhile.
I'm only half joking when I say my dogs are my muses. Their quiet energy (they sleep most of the time while I'm writing) and their tangible warmth (at any given time, at least one of them is laying on my feet) stokes the creative coals. I create better, plot better, and write better when they are around.
And if, perchance, the Muse should prescribe a nap -- you know, for story purposes -- well, they're more than happy to crawl up on the couch with me for a little snooze.
When WunderGuy and I were first married, we lived in a house that had the approximate square footage of a midsize Buick. No dogs allowed. I found a way to get a horse, which I kept at the neighboring farm across the street. I found a way to get a cat. (It followed me home and I kept it. Ssshhh!) But a dog was verboten. I believe my desire for a dog was one of the fundamental reasons we bought our own place. That and wanting a living room larger than a postage stamp.
We had Dalmatians for years. Our first was a 4-year old that needed re-homed NOW! Within a few months of getting him, we also had a Dal puppy whose first owners had quickly realized they were not equipped to raise anything that wasn't stuffed.
In addition to our Dals, we acquired a beautifully bred, show-quality Whippet whose owner died and whose inheriting people gave him to us when we attended the estate sale. Oh, he was lovely! His favorite place to sleep was on his back in the bathtub, with all four legs waving in the air.
For years the back door to our house didn't have a lock. (We live in the country. Door locks are optional.) For years, it didn't need one. We had something better: we had Barney.
Barney was a full-grown Akita when we got him. He'd lost his family to divorce. His original owner was a fireman who worked 36-hour shifts. He didn't think it was right to leave the dog alone for days, so he came to our place.
Barney was a gentle giant. He weighed well over 120 pounds in his prime. I had never owned a Northern breed before. I was used to dogs that would actually pay attention to me when I called their names. Not Barney. He was very much his own dog. For the first 3 weeks we had him, I thought he was deaf.
Somehow, we ended up on a Dalmatian rescue list and for years we'd get calls about every spotted dog within 50 miles that needed a home. Our final Dal was Digory, a special needs case. We had 3 dogs at the time, but got a phone call from our vet the day before Thanksgiving that went something like this:
Vet: I've got a stray Dalmatian pup here about 6 months old. Found in a ditch. The person who found him thought he was dead. He's not. Yet. Animal Aid [a local rescue agency] will pay for his vet care, but he needs a home with someone who knows these dogs. Will you take him if he lives?
Me: Uh... N--
Vet: He's a rack of bones. At least 70% underweight, with a bad case of heartworm and road rash. I don't think he's going to live. But if he does--?
And that's how we got Digory. He spent weeks in the vet's office before he could come home. He was a good boy, but had deep seated aggression issues toward other animals. He was fine with the dogs and cats we had when he came, but we were never able to successfully introduce other animals afterward.
Digory lived 12 years. By then, we had a child. I thought "Dalmatians have so much energy. I'm not sure I'm up to handling both a kid and another Dal..."
So, in our infinite wisdom, we acquired a stray part-Pit who showed up at a friend's house. Pits, we discovered, have all the energy of Dalmatians, just without the spots.
River the WunderPit is a lovely 50 lb., brown brindle bundle of energy who never met a plushy squeaky toy she didn't disembowel. She's obsessive to the point of self-destruction. She can play soccer with a horse toy - literally - for hours, and sometimes must have the ball taken away in order to rediscover her brain.
I contend that River was the inspiration for Toothless the Dragon in "How To Train Your Dragon." To press my case, I present Exhibit A:
While River is "technically" my husband's dog, Kestrel is all mine. We had a lovely, sweet English Mastiff who died of lymphoma when she was only 1 year old. I was distraught. I went to the Humane Society, where Kestrel immediately claimed me as if she'd been waiting for me to get there.
Kestrel is like me: very Type A. After the Dalmatian years, I generally prefer my dogs to be bigger and more laid back. Kestrel, and Fate, didn't give a rat's patootie what I preferred. Kestrel is mine. Within a few days of getting her, I did the 3-Day Novel Writing Contest. While recovering from the Swine Flu. (No, I'm not kidding.) She endured it all with me.
There you have it: the dogs that keep me sane, workout with me, are ready for a play break at a moment's notice, and inspire me. They don't care if my writing is great or shoddy. They don't care if people know who I am or like what I write. They are unconditionally accepting; fuzzy purveyors of several of life's critically important Real Deals.
-- Do you have an animal muse that makes your writing time even more enjoyable? If so, contribute your own Ode to them below!
I'm only half joking when I say my dogs are my muses. Their quiet energy (they sleep most of the time while I'm writing) and their tangible warmth (at any given time, at least one of them is laying on my feet) stokes the creative coals. I create better, plot better, and write better when they are around.
And if, perchance, the Muse should prescribe a nap -- you know, for story purposes -- well, they're more than happy to crawl up on the couch with me for a little snooze.
![]() |
| WunderGuy & I & our first 2 Dals. |
We had Dalmatians for years. Our first was a 4-year old that needed re-homed NOW! Within a few months of getting him, we also had a Dal puppy whose first owners had quickly realized they were not equipped to raise anything that wasn't stuffed.
In addition to our Dals, we acquired a beautifully bred, show-quality Whippet whose owner died and whose inheriting people gave him to us when we attended the estate sale. Oh, he was lovely! His favorite place to sleep was on his back in the bathtub, with all four legs waving in the air.
![]() |
| Our daughter at 11 months & Bogie at 13 years. |
Barney was a full-grown Akita when we got him. He'd lost his family to divorce. His original owner was a fireman who worked 36-hour shifts. He didn't think it was right to leave the dog alone for days, so he came to our place.
Barney was a gentle giant. He weighed well over 120 pounds in his prime. I had never owned a Northern breed before. I was used to dogs that would actually pay attention to me when I called their names. Not Barney. He was very much his own dog. For the first 3 weeks we had him, I thought he was deaf. Somehow, we ended up on a Dalmatian rescue list and for years we'd get calls about every spotted dog within 50 miles that needed a home. Our final Dal was Digory, a special needs case. We had 3 dogs at the time, but got a phone call from our vet the day before Thanksgiving that went something like this:
Vet: I've got a stray Dalmatian pup here about 6 months old. Found in a ditch. The person who found him thought he was dead. He's not. Yet. Animal Aid [a local rescue agency] will pay for his vet care, but he needs a home with someone who knows these dogs. Will you take him if he lives?
Me: Uh... N--
Vet: He's a rack of bones. At least 70% underweight, with a bad case of heartworm and road rash. I don't think he's going to live. But if he does--?
And that's how we got Digory. He spent weeks in the vet's office before he could come home. He was a good boy, but had deep seated aggression issues toward other animals. He was fine with the dogs and cats we had when he came, but we were never able to successfully introduce other animals afterward.
Digory lived 12 years. By then, we had a child. I thought "Dalmatians have so much energy. I'm not sure I'm up to handling both a kid and another Dal..."
So, in our infinite wisdom, we acquired a stray part-Pit who showed up at a friend's house. Pits, we discovered, have all the energy of Dalmatians, just without the spots.
River the WunderPit is a lovely 50 lb., brown brindle bundle of energy who never met a plushy squeaky toy she didn't disembowel. She's obsessive to the point of self-destruction. She can play soccer with a horse toy - literally - for hours, and sometimes must have the ball taken away in order to rediscover her brain.
I contend that River was the inspiration for Toothless the Dragon in "How To Train Your Dragon." To press my case, I present Exhibit A:
![]() |
| River & Toothless: Separated at Birth? |
![]() |
| Kestrel: Always ready for something... |
There you have it: the dogs that keep me sane, workout with me, are ready for a play break at a moment's notice, and inspire me. They don't care if my writing is great or shoddy. They don't care if people know who I am or like what I write. They are unconditionally accepting; fuzzy purveyors of several of life's critically important Real Deals.
-- Do you have an animal muse that makes your writing time even more enjoyable? If so, contribute your own Ode to them below!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thanksgiving Thoughts on Roald Dahl's "Television" Poem
As we drove through town this Thanksgiving day, on the way to Grandma and Grandpa's house, my daughter noticed the stanchions in front of Wal-Mart and Best Buy and other stores, awaiting the ravening hordes that will be pushing and shoving each other in a few hours.
"Why would people let themselves be herded like cattle just to buy a few things?" she asked.
"Flat screen TV's are on sale," I said. "Wouldn't getting one cheap make you want to stand outside in sub-zero temperatures and trample others underfoot?"
She caught my eye in the rear-view mirror. "Sarcasm?"
"You think?"
On the way to the grandparents', we listened to an audiobook of Roald Dahl's 1964 classic "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," which features Dahl's awesome "Television" poem. The fact that it's rather preachy doesn't make it any less relevant...
Television
The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more.
Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more.
Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
***
At the end of the poem -- before Charlie and his Grandpa Joe rode the glass elevator "up and out" -- my 10-year old said "I've read all those books and know all those
characters they mention." You should have seen the look of abject horror
on her face when she followed up with, "You mean some kids haven't?!"
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